Some Days

September is … hard for me. The worst actually. September is the month that blends my ‘before’ naivety with my ‘after’ reality check. It’s the month that I am simultaneously at my weakest and at my strongest.

September represents death in my world,

… but also life.

It’s the month that brought me to my knees,

…but also forced me to stand on my own two feet.

September was the month I wanted to die,

… but also at the same time, when I so desperately fought to live.

Some days in September, I still want to give up.

Some days hurt. Some days will absolutely bring you to your knees and you’ll want to give up too.

Please don’t.

Some days you’re going to be lost inside of your own personal hell and feel like it’s easier to shut down than show up.

Please keep showing up anyway.

September 2018 changed the course of my life. The bitch slap of it all was devastatingly hard. Some days I’m still pretty confused and bitter about it.

… but some days?

Some days I realize what a bad ass I am, and how fucking strong September has made me to be.

Some days in my world still hurt, but MOST days now?

Most days do not. Most days I believe I am going to be okay.

You’re going to be okay too. I promise.

Until next time,

~A

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