Widow Me This

My Mom is not afraid to die. She told me that today. She’s actually excited to meet You. Which is a weird concept to me, but that’s not my point… Hey God? I’m terrified to live in a world that doesn’t have my mom in it. There is nothing I can do to to make this right. Please make sure that if I can’t hold her hand again before she dies, that You will. Please stay close to her and keep watch when I can’t. Hey God? If there were ever a time for me to catch a break, could it please be right now? I’ve made peace with every…

My pain, your purpose? I’m about to throw hands with God if anyone wants a front row seat. I will lose, but fucking hell I’ll put up a good fight. Stay Tuned ✌🏻 Side note: airports would be such a better vibe if people weren’t all over the place to ruin it. Just sayin.’ Until Text Time , ~A

When you don’t want to. When you can’t face shit because it hurts. When you so desperately want to keep your feet on the ground, but you know you need to fly. When you know that the next right thing to do, will fucking destroy you. When showing up scared, trumps not showing up. Doing the right thing sucks. It’s hard and messy and mostly just sad for me… BUT Here I go. I don’t want to get on this plane. I know when my feet land in Ohio, I will have to face shit that’s going to hurt. I know that the next right thing to do is going…

Life is the very worst kind of ride sometimes. Slip, Fall, Stick I’ve been avoiding my entire life lately because I’m afraid to say what I need to say. Slip, Fall, Stick Nothing new there. I hate having feelings. I’d rather just not. Feelings always, ALWAYS lead to vulnerability and I’m not at all about that life. Until now. Slip, Fall, Stick My mom is dying, my sister needs me. So… Slip, Fall, Stick. Vulnerability is physically painful for me. If you can’t make sense of that, lucky you. Please hear me when I write this: watching someone die fucks you up. I don’t mean the “idea” of how you…