Joke’s on you

It’s no secret that I have a very twisted and sometimes very inappropriate sense of humor. I say a lot of off the wall crap at the very worst times. Half of the reason is because I lack a filter, the other half is because I don’t give a shit what other people think. Of course there is a middle ground in there somewhere which enables me to have a successful professional career.

I stopped apologizing a long time ago for that part of who I am, unless I unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings… I’m not an asshole. I don’t make jokes at someone else’s expense because again, I’m not an asshole.

Fun fact: Humor is a coping mechanism.

People are not born funny. The absolute most entertaining and hilarious people in life, have been through some SHIT. The best sense of humor almost always goes hand in hand with the very deepest scars. Funny people are not born, they are created. Sad, but true. Don’t believe me? Take a second to think about the funniest people in your life… what baggage are they carrying? If you answer that question with -‘none,’ then it’s one of two things 1) you don’t know enough about them yet, or 2) they aren’t that funny.

Being funny deflects pain. Being funny makes our world feel okay when our hearts know it’s anything but.

BEING FUNNY DEFLECTS PAIN.

If you’ve read my blog from the beginning, you’ll see a pattern. You’ll see that my truth is ALWAYS paired with my humor. Why? Because humor.deflects.pain. I’ll give you an example…

When I picked up Justin’s ashes from the crematorium, they were in a small box inside of a gift bag. I shit you not, they put him in a red gift bag. When I got him to my car I buckled his ass into the front seat to keep him safe (??.) I remember needing to stop at the store- no idea why, but whatever. When I got to the store and parked, I had no idea what to do with him. Take him into the store with me and strap him into the front part of the cart? Leave him in the front seat of my car? What if someone stole him while I was shopping? Should I stick him in the trunk? That seemed like my best option at the time so ….in the trunk he went.

I set him gently in there and said, ‘you gonna be okay in here until I get back? I promise I won’t take too long.’ Spoiler alert , he was totally fine in the trunk… didn’t mind at all.

Even in the midst of one of the very worst days of my life, I managed to make myself laugh. Why? Humor deflects pain.

THIS. This is the kind of shit that should be talked about openly, and yet most people find it insensitive and/or disrespectful to the person who died. Fuck that. It’s not always sadness and somber grieving. Sometimes it’s funny shit and inappropriate jokes.

Sometimes you just gotta stick ‘em in the trunk.

Cultural norms are all about mourning in sadness. If that’s what you need to do to take your next step, that’s great. Do you. On the flip side though? It’s okay to make jokes. That doesn’t mean you’re glad they died or are happy about it. It doesn’t mean you don’t have a huge gaping hole in your heart. It doesn’t mean you’re not honoring them. It doesn’t mean you don’t miss them. It means that you’re still alive and doing the very best you can to get through your day without them.

If people can’t understand that, you need to get yourself some new fucking people.

Until next time,

~A