Indifferent

I’ve never been an indifferent kind of human, but in the last few years I’ve learned very quickly how to master it.

… and it sucks. Mostly.

Indifference is a state of being, not a feeling. At least for me anyway.

Feeling too much leaves you vulnerable. Not feeling anything leaves you empty (and most likely a serial killer in the making, all I’m saying.)

Feeling indifferent though? Makes your heart feel safe, right?

WRONG.

If you tell yourself that you feel nothing, you’re essentially convincing yourself that whatever you’re going through doesn’t hurt.

Even if it does.

Regardless of how indifferent you think you are, your heart feels the pain anyway.

We are not made to be indifferent. We are uniquely created to FEEL shit, even when we’d rather not. Even when we’d rather give up instead of give in.

Life HURTS. Like a fucking bitch, really. Feeling indifferent is the easy way out. Pretending like we give zero fucks is a cop out. Why? Because we DO give a fuck. Several fucks actually. We just don’t want anyone else to know that we do.

We have to feel it in order to heal it. The only way out is through, and making our way through it fucking sucks sometimes.

Indifference is for the weak… and that’s not us. We are strong and we’ve got this.

Until next time,

~A