Heart Work Is Hard Work

I have always considered myself as oddly optimistic. I’ve always been one to try and find ‘the good.’ In people, and just overall life in general. If I couldn’t see the good, I would try like hell to BE the good. Like somehow me pouring every single ounce of happy optimism and goodness that I had into someone, or something else, would split the difference. (Spoiler alert, it doesn’t.)

In theory, it’s a fantastic way to live. In practice though? It’s complete shit. It’s also really fucking exhausting.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you absolutely can’t pour all of your goodness into someone else hoping that you’ll get the same in return.

You can’t expect YOU from other people.

That’s a hard pill to swallow, especially because every single person thinks they are doing things the ‘best’ or the ‘right’ way. Maybe they are… for them.

I try to assume that everyone is doing the best they can, even if it doesn’t line up with my idea of ‘the best.’ Unless you are a complete asshole and lack a moral compass, most of us have good intentions.

Some people are just not good with communicating and some people are just not GOOD people. I’m learning to recognize the difference and exit stage right, before I have nothing left. It’s hard for me.

What I am coming to freaking fast terms with is this: Being overly understanding and accommodating to people and giving them ‘all you’ve got,’ does not mean they will reciprocate or even meet you halfway. Not everyone is meant to stay and that’s okay.

Heart work is HARD work and I’m doing my best to spend that part of my emotional energy on people who are trying to show up for me in life, like I am for them. I am also taking a crash course on how to show up better for others as well- I have enough self awareness to recognize that sometimes I am the problem. (Gasp) 😏

Life is so damn fragile and can change in the blink of an eye. Make sure the people you’re pouring into aren’t just a drain, and likewise check yourself to make sure YOU aren’t a drain either. No one has time for that shit.

Surround yourself with people that think the sun shines out of your ass, and that even though you’re a hot mess of a person some days, they think you’re a fucking delight regardless.

Also, don’t be a dick. Life is hard enough.

Until next time,

~A