I’ve never been an indifferent kind of human, but in the last few years I’ve learned very quickly how to master it. … and it sucks. Mostly. Indifference is a state of being, not a feeling. At least for me anyway. Feeling too much leaves you vulnerable. Not feeling anything leaves you empty (and most likely a serial killer in the making, all I’m saying.) Feeling indifferent though? Makes your heart feel safe, right? WRONG. If you tell yourself that you feel nothing, you’re essentially convincing yourself that whatever you’re going through doesn’t hurt. Even if it does. Regardless of how indifferent you think you are, your heart feels the…

… but you’re tougher. Life can be incredibly unfair. Giving up would be so easy, and no one would blame you. Please don’t. Please stay. It gets better, I promise. If you can’t find your way out of the dark, please know that you’re not alone. Please stay. Life is tough, but you’re tougher. Until next time, ~A

I have always considered myself as oddly optimistic. I’ve always been one to try and find ‘the good.’ In people, and just overall life in general. If I couldn’t see the good, I would try like hell to BE the good. Like somehow me pouring every single ounce of happy optimism and goodness that I had into someone, or something else, would split the difference. (Spoiler alert, it doesn’t.) In theory, it’s a fantastic way to live. In practice though? It’s complete shit. It’s also really fucking exhausting. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you absolutely can’t pour all of your goodness into someone else hoping that you’ll…

I’ve had them. Sometimes I still do. Websters dictionary defines Suicidal tendencies as this: thoughts, ideas, or rumination’s about the possibility of ending one’s own life. Life can hurt like a bitch. You’re going along smooth sailing, until you’re not. Out of nowhere you get dealt a shit hand. A sucker punch on a random Sunday night that obliterates every single thing you’ve ever known. Having thoughts, ideas, or ruminations about the possibility of ending one’s own life. THE POSSIBILITY. Possibility does NOT always equate to probability. Not wanting to live, does not mean wanting to die. I have absolutely, on multiple occasions, had suicidal tendencies. I am absolutely NOT…