Who is in your corner? Think about all of the people in your life that love you no matter what. Make a list of names. Who is the first name on that list? Is it you? Is your name at the top of your own list? Because it should be. Who advocates for you? Who speaks up on your behalf when someone hurts you? Is it you? Because it should be. Who loves you no matter how many times you fuck up? Is it you? Because it should be. Here’s the thing about life, it gets incredibly messy. We do stupid shit. We SAY stupid shit. We hurt people. We…

… I don’t understand. Even If … it hurts like fucking hell. Even If … I have to let go and say goodbye to the man who was the very best father and thought every single one of our fabulous 5 hung the moon. The same 5 that kept their mom above water when he died. Even If … I have to watch our children grow up to be the most kick ass adults that we always prayed they would become, alone. Even If … I feel like the wrong parent died. Even If … Not one Goddamn thing makes any sense in my world anymore. God apparently has a…

September is … hard for me. The worst actually. September is the month that blends my ‘before’ naivety with my ‘after’ reality check. It’s the month that I am simultaneously at my weakest and at my strongest. September represents death in my world, … but also life. It’s the month that brought me to my knees, …but also forced me to stand on my own two feet. September was the month I wanted to die, … but also at the same time, when I so desperately fought to live. Some days in September, I still want to give up. Some days hurt. Some days will absolutely bring you to your…

…is a heart that’s busted open. Who is holding you when you’re completely broken? Yourself? How’s that working for you? Probably just as well as it’s working for me… it’s not. To be completely honest, lately I haven’t had a thing for God. Being pissed off at Him has been my default setting. There is not one part of me that understands His logic. ‘I don’t want to hear what I’m going through is just a season. Or that my glass should be half full when it’s in a million pieces.’ There are days that I do not want to fucking hold on. Days when I do not feel strong…