‘When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on’ ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt. Here’s the thing about grief… it fucking sucks. TIE A KNOT Watching someone you love die, sucks. TIE A KNOT Watching my kids try to be strong even when their hearts are breaking , sucks. TIE A KNOT Trying to move forward, when all I want, more than anything, is to go back, sucks. TIE A KNOT When you don’t want to live, but you don’t want to die TIE A KNOT Rock bottom has a basement. I know this because lately I’ve been living there. Maybe, ‘live’ is a dramatic…

Have you ever asked God, what the actual fuck? I have. In the last two years I’ve asked Him several times, DAILY. Have you ever been mad at God? I have. Have you ever questioned your faith in Him? I have. Have you ever prayed so hard for Him to stop allowing bad things to happen to you? I have. I have absolutely no idea how to play this bullshit hand I’ve been dealt. If God had Facebook I would unfriend Him. Straight up pissed as fuck with life right now. I’m tired and sad and so damn sick of losing people. Have you ever given up on Him? I…

‘I know it’s here somewhereThe faith I used to haveBefore the sky fell down on meBehind the curtainBeneath the hospital bedHiding just beyond my reach Feels like my prayers areBouncing off the ceiling tilesLike a helium balloonI can’t close the distanceBetween the way I feelAnd what I know is true I’m caught up in a battleI wasn’t looking forWhen I’m searching for solaceIn the middle of a war I’m tired of waitingBut I’m afraid of how it’s gonna endSo I’m stuck here in betweenBracing for bad newsAnd hoping for a miracleWhile I’m fighting to believe You are, YOU are my missing peace ‘ -JJ Heller Until next time, ~A