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Time
There are so many moving pieces involved when someone you love dies. None of them are easy. You deal with the bad just to stumble into the worse. It’s devastatingly hard. One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with when Justin died was that he never woke up. He lived for 10 days after his aneurysm but never woke up. We were talking one minute and then we… weren’t. He was here, and then he wasn’t. I didn’t get to say goodbye. The kids didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ve been inching my way towards writing about that night, but fucking hell it’s hard. That night…
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First Steps
Welcome to the crazy train everyone! I am so glad you’re here. The time is 3:55am and I think it’s day 10? out of too many of the COVID-19 quarantine, where time has no meaning, pajamas are the dress code, you realize that people who homeschool their children more than likely day drink, and you have 2 emotions, confused and/or annoyed. I currently have an audience of one. My dog, who will always and forever be my biggest fan. Well, in my head anyway, because she is the only one in my life that never tells me how crazy I am (only because she is a dog and you know,…
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That’s A Wrap
Happy New Year! (Almost ) I hope wherever you’re reading this from, you’re happy and healthy. I hope this year brought you more healing than hurt. I hope things get easier and you realize how much you matter. Your place in this world cannot be matched and I hope you pick this next year, to stay. ‘You’re doing better than you think.’ It’s okay if you’re going into next year as the same you. I’m going to show up as the same me. 🙂 Progress isn’t contingent on a ball dropping. 🙃 Friendly reminder: The world needs your magic, as do I. 🤟🏻 Thanks for reading 💜 ~A
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Calmly Chaotic
Finding the calm in the chaos has never been a strong sticking point for me. I STRUGGLED. Like legit struggled every single day to show up, control the narrative and force some sort of outcome. For those of you unfamiliar, that’s a straight up trauma response -!: and… it’s exhausting. Urgency is directly related to the part of the brain trying to heal from trauma. It hurts and we need it to end. There’s full on panic and a race to the finish line until it does. Blast of a shit time, just saying. (Side note: it also never works. Not for this girl at least.) This year was a…